well I can't set my house on fire every night
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
