Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
