I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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