remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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