i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
