Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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