oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize