I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
