if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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