Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
