I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
