i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
