There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Four minutes until I can fart!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Mom said you looked used
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
