end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
