They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
