I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
