But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
