I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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