Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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