Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
