You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
