Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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