my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
