My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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