you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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