so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
