Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
