I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
