I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
