we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
