so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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