I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
