these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
