Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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