i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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