After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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