So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
