I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize