So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
