the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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