he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
