@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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