Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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