did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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