Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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