Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
