he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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