White coat. Heels.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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