i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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