Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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