I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
