Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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