Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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