so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
