I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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