Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
accomplished twins. life is a go
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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