I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
