He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize