Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
