it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
