suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I lost the right to judge tonight
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize