Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
