just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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