So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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