Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize