we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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